


Broken Beyond Repair

by TwoCrows



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! ARC-V
Genre: Angst, Canon Divergence, Depression, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hurt and comfort, Post-Canon, Self-Destruction, Self-Hatred, it's a sadder rewrite of the ending of the show, suicide ideation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-18
Updated: 2019-03-22
Packaged: 2019-11-23 14:30:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18153080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwoCrows/pseuds/TwoCrows
Summary: They had fought to bring peace to the worlds. But although peace is what they achieved, the only feeling he had was one of loss and emptiness. If this was the price of victory, then maybe defeat would have been the less painful option.





	1. Reversal

**Author's Note:**

> I first came up with the idea for this story after reading the preview of Ep 141. I’m pretty amazed that I managed to write this more than two years later. Also, I apologise to everyone who decides to read this.

Birds twittered in the branches above. Leaf rustled in the wind. Somewhere in the scrubs he heard the noise of an animal seeking its way through the underwood.

The atmosphere here was… unfamiliar.

He readjusted his glasses before continuing his way over the narrow path that wound between the trees. After what felt like forever, he saw light shimmering through the trunks and stepped out of the forest and onto the bright green meadow that sloped gradually down to a little valley.

He blinked a few times, irritated by the force of vividness that washed over him. The warmth of the sunlight that bathed the meadow into this blazing green crept into him and he noticed how he began to feel tired.

Vigorously, he shook his head and marched forward, until he spotted his goal. The face beneath the red and green thatch stirred a little when his shadow fell on it. A crimson eye opened a bit, squinting up at him, before it closed again.

“Why did you come here?” Yuya muttered from below.

Reiji considered him for a moment. He looked… peaceful, Reiji guessed. His hair had grown a little longer since he had last seen him, but aside from that, he looked just like always.

“To give you this”, he answered, taking out the envelope he had kept in his pocket. He offered it to Yuya, but the boy made no attempt to take it.

“It contains an invitation to the Junior Youth Championship along with detailed information about it.”

“And you came all the way here just to give me that?” Yuya muttered with a faint smile. “What an honour.”

Reiji’s face twitched for a moment and he readjusted his glasses.

“Actually I sent this letter to your home two weeks ago. But when I called, your father told me you hadn’t opened it. Nor anything else you’ve received.”

He thought back to the pile of letters which he had found at the Sakaki’s house. They had been from Yuya’s friends, a few from Nico Smiley, and one from Mr Hiiragi. The last was the only one which had been touched, one of the edges crinkled as if Yuya had been torn on whether or not he should open it.

He sighed.

“I’m leaving this here then”, he said, placing the envelope on Yuya’s chest and turning to leave.

“I’m not going to come”, Yuya’s voice replied from behind.

Reiji stopped and counted to three before he turned back. Yuya hadn’t moved, hadn’t even opened his eyes. For the first time since he had faced his father, Reiji felt a hint of anger arise inside him.

“What do you mean by that?” he asked, watching the distant smile on Yuya’s face.

“I’m saying that I am not going to come to the Championship. Which part didn’t you understand?”

Reiji narrowed his eyes.

“What about your dream to become a pro duellist? What about how you wanted to make people smile through your duelling?”

He stared as Yuya’s smile grew a little wider.

“Pretty childish dreams, huh? I realise that now.”

Something inside Reiji snapped. He knelt down, grabbed Yuya’s collar and pulled him up until their faces were merely inches away.

“Don’t you say that so casually, Yuya”, he said sharply. “This isn’t who you are. The Yuya I know wouldn’t just lie here in this meadow when there is a crowd waiting for him.”

“I gave up on my dream, Reiji. That’s all. The world will need to smile without me.”

Reiji found it hard to believe his ears. Yusho had already told him that his son had changed, but he hadn’t expected him to be like this. The a little too soft tone of his voice… The unmoved expression on his face… They made him want to slap him so he would become himself again.

His fingers dug into the cloth of Yuya’s shirt.

“Listen, Yuya”, he said in a dangerously calm voice. “I do not care about what you intend to do with your life. But you still owe me. I made sure nobody aside from your comrades learned that you are Zarc.”

“And you owe me for dragging me into this war. I guess that means we’re quit.”

This time Reiji did slap him. With a shock he realised how heavy he was breathing all of a sudden. This was… very irritating.

Never before had he used physical violence outside of a duel and he had never expected anyone was going to make him. Least of all Yuya.

“You… are going to participate. Or else…”

Despite the red imprint on his face, Yuya cracked a smile.

“So after appealing to my pride and my responsibility, you try to threaten me?” Yuya muttered wanly. “And what could you do to me? Punch me again? Handcuff me and drag me into the arena?”

Reiji’s hand let go of Yuya’s collar and wandered to his nose, to push the glasses up the bridge again, before he stared down at the crimson-eyed boy. It felt so wrong to see him like that. This wasn’t the cheerful entertainer he had known.

“Are you trying to isolate yourself from the world? Is it that what you want?”

Yuya didn’t answer.

“Is it because of Yuzu?” Reiji added calmer and for a moment he saw a glimpse of pain flash across Yuya’s face. Nevertheless, he made no attempt to get up and punch him like he was supposed to. He didn’t even talk back.

Reiji sighed and got to his feet before he turned to leave.

“You’re powerless, Reiji. You always were. You couldn’t stop your father. You couldn’t stop Zarc. And you couldn’t protect Reira.”

Reiji froze, trying to ignore the stab of pain in his chest.

For so long he had blamed himself for being unable to help. And when he had discovered Reira’s condition, silent and without the tiniest hint of happiness or interest, he had almost broken down.

“You’re powerless”, Yuya continued. “That’s why you needed to use people like me or Reira–”

“Shut up!”

Reiji darted around, feeling bile rising in his throat.

“You have no idea what you are talking about.”

Yuya merely gave him a sympathetic glance.

“We’re both wrecks, Reiji… Start fixing yourself, before you try to fix others.”

Reiji wanted to shout, wanted to throw all his pain and frustration at Yuya, but no words passed over his lips.

Yuya was right.

He ducked his head and left.

The meadow around was a mocking contrast to the swirl of emotions inside him. At the edge of the forest he turned around, letting his gaze wander over to the small hollow in the grass where Yuya was lying and a bitter laugh rose up in his throat.

What horrible irony. He had come here believing that he was the mature one, able to control his feelings, while Yuya was the one who always showed what was on his mind. Now that he left, their roles had switched entirely.

Nevertheless, he wasn’t able to go back and face Yuya a second time. 


	2. Shared Pain

When the doorbell rang, Yusho pushed himself out of the armchair he had been sitting in. Leaned on his cane he limped to the door past Kilo – or was it En? – He wasn’t yet able to distinguish the strays that Yoko had taken in. So much had changed. That applied to the face which met him behind the door as well.

“Shuzo?”

“May I… come in?”

“Of course, yes”, he muttered awkwardly as he stepped aside, friendly nudging the little dog out of the way before he led his old friend into the living room.

For a while none of them said a word.

Shuzo’s normally carefree face looked unusually serious, his tanned skin had started to grow pale. Yusho’s gaze wandered to the item he had placed next to him, but he wasn’t sure how he should touch upon it.

“Much has happened”, he said, finally breaking the silence. “Back then you wouldn’t have asked if you could come in.”

“Back then you wouldn’t have needed that cane to move around.”

Shuzo met his eyes and Yusho caught a glimpse of the pain that his friend was hiding inside.

“Much has happened”, he replied, before lowering his head.

“I am sorry, Shuzo. I should’ve come over much sooner. Being able to see Yuya and Yoko again, was… I… never really thought how you were feeling.”

The expression on Shuzo’s face remained the same, sad and unmoved.

“You… don’t need to feel sorry”, Shuzo said and it felt like these words were coming from far away, as if it took him much effort to form them.

Yusho wasn’t sure how to reply. He hadn’t seen his son for three years, but he had always hoped that the day would come when he could meet him again. He couldn’t imagine how it felt to know that this day would never come, to know that one’s child was gone forever.

“If there is anything Yoko or I can help you with, just name it.”

His friend wanly shook his head.

“Unless you know a way to bring her back, you can’t help me.”

He cracked something that looked like it was supposed to be a smile. “Spend your time with your family. You have been apart for too long already, right?”

Yusho cast down his eyes.

When Yoko had seen him for the first time, she had frozen in place for a moment, before she had stepped towards him and slapped him across the face, screaming at him how he had dared to leave without a single word, without a message that told them where he had gone and that he still was alive. After her fury had ceased, her screams turned into violent sobs and although it strained his injured leg, he had caught her, trying to hold her the way he should’ve during the last three years. Yuya had reacted a little more reserved, just embracing him, muttering how he was glad that he was back. They were a family once again. And at the same time they weren’t.

It was hard to describe, but although he was close to them again, he also felt like they were far away, as if the last three years were a river between them that he couldn’t cross.

Three years. Three years of their life that he hadn’t been able to share with them. Three years and he felt like an age had passed.

Although Yoko was glad that he was back, she was somewhat hesitant to be intimate with him again. He guessed that was inevitable when being separated for a longer period of time.

And then there was Yuya.

Yoko had told him how bravely he had fought on, despite being detested as the son of a coward by everyone, and how strongly he had believed that his father would come back one day. He hadn’t felt this moved for a long time.

Now though… he was different. The fire that had burned inside his soul when Yusho met him at academia had disappeared. Now Yuya talked rarely and when he did, he sounded distant and untouchable. He had returned his pendant to Yusho, saying he didn’t need it anymore.

To be honest, Yusho had no idea what was going on inside his head and that hurt. Wasn’t a father supposed to understand what his son was thinking? But Yusho wasn’t even sure if he still was his son. He appeared more like an empty shell, as if a part of him had vanished. The part that had made him Yuya.

Yusho wished that things could be the way they had been… back then when Yuya was younger, when the three of them were still a normal family. He wished he had never left in the first place.

“Yusho?”

“Hm?”

Yusho’s eyes flicked up, meeting Shuzo’s weary gaze.

“Is… Is Yuya there? I would like to talk to him.”

Yusho nodded.

“Yes, he’s in his room.”

Shuzo rose and moved for the stairs that led to the first floor.

“Don’t get your hopes up”, he muttered before his friend left the room.

Shuzo stopped at the door, giving him a long, bitter glance.

“Hope? I’m not able to feel that anymore.” 

  


* * *

  


Tentatively he knocked at the door.

“Yuya? Are you in there?”

He had been waiting in front of the door for a while, trying to think of how to begin, but he noticed that his thoughts weren’t getting any clearer.

If Yuya was in there, he didn’t respond. For a moment Shuzo thought of trying the handle to look inside, but then he decided against it.

“I can understand if you’re not ready to face me yet. You probably are feeling pretty messed up. Actually I am quite messed up myself.”

He scratched the back of his head and tried to make an awkward laugh, but it sounded hoarse and hollow in his throat.

What he could make out of his own feelings towards Yuya was very ambiguous. He had always felt kind of responsible for the boy ever since Yuzu and he were old enough to visit the Duel School together. With Yusho’s disappearance and Yoko’s breakdown after that, Shuzo had somehow become his father figure. He had loved seeing the boy grow up, always aiming for the top, trying to conjure a smile on the faces of everyone watching him. He had been certain that Yuya would one day become an entertainer that even surpassed his father.

Aside from that he had been his daughter’s best friend and Shuzo suspected that they had even begun to develop romantic feelings for each other.

When Yuzu had disappeared, Yuya had promised that he would bring her back. That was a promise that he hadn’t been able to hold, he thought with a stab of anger in his chest. He immediately felt ashamed of himself.

He didn’t really understand the whole thing about how Yuya and Yuzu were linked to three other boys and girls with the same face and the giant dragon that had suddenly turned up and attacked the city, but he was sure that it hadn’t been Yuya’s fault. It hadn’t been his fault that Yuzu had died.

He drew in a deep breath, held it for a few moments before slowly releasing it through his nostrils.

“I don’t know what happened to you in that other world. And I don’t know why my daughter had to disappear, but… I know how much she meant to you. Thank you for trying to bring her back. Thank you for being her a friend she could count on. Thank you, Yuya.”

He knew that his cheeks were wet with tears, but he didn’t care. All he wanted was to let Yuya know that he wasn’t angry at him.

Suddenly the handle was pushed down and the door opened a little.

Surprised, Shuzo glanced into the dark room in front of him. He opened the door a little further and slid inside carefully.

Yuya was lying on his bed, staring up at the ceiling above him. He didn’t turn as Shuzo entered or as he closed the door behind him.

“I wanted to save Yuzu”, he muttered after a while, his voice hoarse as if he hadn’t used it for a long while.

“And Yuto as well. He wanted to save his friend. Yuzu, Ruri, Serena and Rin. We wanted to save all four of them. But we failed. And now they are gone. Even Yuto is.”

He reached out his arm, absently drawing small circles into the air.

“I could hear him in my mind for a while. I have shared his thoughts and feelings. And now he is gone. It’s so silent. Say, can you tell me what I can do against this silence?”

Shuzo wasn’t able to breathe.

He knew the silence Yuya was talking about. The roaring silence that rang in his ears when he sat at home, seeing Yuzu everywhere, lying on the couch, a thin blanket spread half over her, almost falling off when she turned, or running through the kitchen, hastily grabbing something for breakfast before skidding into the bathroom to do her hair. He remembered her laughter, her annoyed scolding when he had embarrassed her in some way, but what he heard was the deafening absence of her laughter, scolding, sobs, of the melodious sound of her voice… It was just this tearing silence that reminded him of how empty this house was, would always be from now on.

“I am sorry, Yuya. I… I wish I’d know.”

Yuya turned his head and although he couldn’t see them clearly in the dark, Shuzo was taken aback by the grief in his eyes.

“Yuzu… She is gone. I couldn’t save her. I wanted to, but in the end I made everything worse. All I wanted was to bring her back. I promised to my mom that I would. I… I don’t even have the right to ask you for forgiveness.”

Shuzo shook his head.

“No, Yuya. I already told you that I’m forgiving you.”

He scratched his cheek lightly, noticed the wet track the tears had left on them.

“Actually… I wanted to give you something.”

Yuya’s eyes grew wide with surprise when Shuzo handed him the large paper fan. He took it like a treasure, carefully trailing his fingers across its edges.

“I… found this in Yuzu’s room”, Shuzo explained. “I can’t remember how often she’s smacked the two of us with it. I thought… you should have it. Yuzu would’ve liked that.”

He stopped when he noticed a wet drop falling onto the fan. Yuya’s shoulders had started to tremble and when Shuzo took a look at him, his eyes were shiny with tears.

Awkwardly he sat down beside him, putting one arm around his shoulders and tried to hold him as the boy was shaken by long bottled-up sobs. 


	3. Letters

Slowly, Yuya stepped into the kitchen. He didn’t have the strength to run around carelessly like he used to, though it wasn’t his body that was exhausted.

He switched on the small lamp over the table and sat down. Absently he stroked over the edges of the wooden tabletop, remembering the days when he and his parents had eaten together here, such a long time ago.

Back then he had admired his dad for being the most famous entertainer in the city. He had been so proud of him. Whenever he had a performance, Yuya had been so excited he wasn’t able to sit still, maybe even more excited than his dad himself.

But these days were gone.

He had desperately continued to believe in his dad, even after he disappeared and everyone called him a coward, but now that he had finally met him again, things were different between them. He wasn’t able to see the sparkle that had enveloped his dad back then anymore. Although… Maybe that had been just because of his childish view.

Now, he wasn’t a child anymore. Age-wise he still was, but inside he already felt so much older.

Was this how it was when you grow up? If so, then he wished he hadn’t. He wished he didn’t have to pay this price.

Carefully he placed the paper fan on the table, his hand lingering on it for a moment longer than necessary. Then he shook his head and reached for the pile of letters next to it.

At first his gaze fell on Shuzo’s a little shaky handwriting. He was about to open it, but then he stopped and with a wan smile he put it aside. Shuzo wasn’t someone who wrote something down which he didn’t say out loud. His words from yesterday still lingered in Yuya’s ears and that was enough.

The next letter came from Sora. With shaking fingers Yuya tore open the envelope and took out the little folded piece of paper. 

  
  


_Hi Yuya,_

_I’m not really sure if I’m getting this letter stuff right, but since you don’t answer you phone or text messages, I guess this is the best way to reach you._

_First of all, I’m sorry for what happened to Yuzu. I wanted to save her as well, but I wasn’t any help at all. I know you’ve known her for much longer than I did, so I probably don’t have any right to say this, but she was my friend as well and I think I can understand how you feel right now._

_You and Yuzu were the first friends I had in my life and I believe she wouldn’t want you to hang your head, but try to smile a little. I hope you can one day._

_We never really had the chance to talk after we met in Synchro. I’m staying at academia right now, so feel free to visit me when you feel like._

_Goodbye_

_Sora_

_P.S.: Your mom’s pancakes are as great as always. You should try some when you can._

  
  


Yuya felt a smile on his lips when he finished reading.

It was true. He hadn’t eaten much lately and he actually hadn’t really cared about what he was eating.

After everything that had happened, these things appeared so terribly superficial to him. Living… Going to school… Leading a normal life… When he tried to remember how he had managed to do that, it felt like he was watching a different person. One that came from a happier world, without pain, without sorrow… without emptiness.

Slowly he put the letter aside and reached for the next one. It was from Gongenzaka. Yuya couldn’t help but smile when he looked at the elegant handwriting that nobody who didn’t know him as well as he did would have believed belonged to such a huge, muscular man. 

  
  


_Dear Yuya,_

_This man, Gongenzaka, isn’t a friend of many words, so he makes it short. This man doesn’t entirely understand what happened, but he knows that you are feeling bad because of Yuzu’s disappearance. This man feels sad as well, but life goes on._

_You have already mastered many hard times, so this man believes that you will come up again with a smile. He has heard that you received an invitation to the Championship as well. He will be waiting for you to meet you in an honest battle._

_Yours sincerely_

_Gongenzaka_

  
  


Yuya carefully folded the piece of paper, placing it on top of Sora’s.

The next letter looked a little chaotic. The characters where scrawly and a few of them were crossed out as if the author still had trouble writing. 

  
  


_Dear Yuya,_

_We have been wondering why you don’t come to school anymore. Yuzu doesn’t come as well. Her dad says she isn’t going to come again, but nobody is willing to tell us anything specific. Did something happen to her?_

_We miss Yuzu, but we miss you as well. Without your jokes that make everyone smile, You Show isn’t the same._

_Please come back, Yuya._

_Your friends_

_Futoshi, Ayu and Tatsuya_

  
  


A teardrop fell next to Yuya’s shaking hand. He felt a sudden warmth that spread throughout his chest. It felt as if he was burning from inside. Sora, Gongenzaka and even the kids. They all were worrying about him, telling him to get back up.

He had never thought that friendship could hurt so much. He never thought it could hurt so much to be believed in when he knew that he couldn’t come up to that belief.

All of them… should better forget about him. Maybe then he’d be free to leave…

He let out a sigh and turned to the next piece of paper. 

  
  


_Hey Yuya,_

_Why the heck don’t you answer your messages?!_

_I heard from Reiji that you don’t want to come to the Championship. Listen, I don’t care if you want to mope around after what happened in Fusion. Even if you’re feeling down, you still owe me a rematch for last time. So you better show up or else I’m going to make mincemeat out of you._

_Don’t you dare disappoint me!_

_The great Neo New Sawatari_

  
  


His fingers tightened so hard around the paper that it crumpled a little.

Even Sawatari… Though they weren’t exactly friends, even he tried to cheer him up in his own way.

He browsed through the next letters. They were from Mieru, from Crow, from Allen and Sayaka. All of them wrote how sorry they were and how they wished him to be alright.

_Alright…_

He couldn’t remember what that was supposed to be. Back then he had been glad to have connected with so many people from so different places. Now he wished he had never met them. He wished he didn’t have to read these words that felt like a thousand needles piercing his heart. Had he known that this was the price of friendship, he wouldn’t have wanted any friends at all.

“Your friends are worrying about you.”

Yuya looked up at his dad who was standing in the door, propped on his cane. He shook his head.

“They shouldn’t be. It makes me feel even worse.”

“Is that the reason why you pushed Reiji away?”

The man limped closer and tapped at the letter which Yuya had ignored on purpose until now. Reiji’s invitation.

“He told you? I didn’t think he would.”

With a strained groan, Yusho let himself sink on the chair next to his.

“I know, outwardly Reiji appears like a cold and calculating person. That was my first impression as well. But now I think that I may have judged him too early.”

Yuya lowered his gaze.

“I cannot help him, dad. No more than he can help me.”

He thought back to their conversation in the meadow. He wasn’t really sure what it was that had made him act the way he had, but he still didn’t feel like it was wrong.

Reiji’s expression… He had been so shaken, so desperate. And yet, what he wanted Yuya to do was an impossible task.

“It’s a strange irony”, he muttered. “We’ve never been able to understand each other. Now that we can, we both are trapped in a nightmare we have to go through on our own.”

His dad considered him for a long while. Slowly his hand wandered on top of Yuya’s and he gave him a sad look.

“Yuya, I may not be able to take any of the weight you’re carrying. But, know that Yoko and I are always going to be there for you.”

Yuya gave out a hoarse laugh.

“To think that you of all people are saying this.” 

  


* * *

  


“Reiji? Yuya hasn’t shown up yet.”

“Thank you, Tsukikage. Proceed as we planned.”

“As you wish.”

The ninja made a brief bow before seemingly vanishing into thin air.

Reiji lowered his gaze, letting out a sigh. He had hoped Yuya would have reconsidered. Reira stared back at him, her big eyes dull and empty.

No, she didn’t stare at him. She stared into the direction where his head happened to be.

She didn’t smile and she didn’t cry. No matter what happened, her round face looked like it was made of stone.

This wasn’t right, was it? A baby needed to cry. They needed to show some kind of emotion. If they didn’t, could they even survive?

Gently, Reiji stroked over her tiny hands. Reira didn’t show any sign of response. Not even the tiniest hint.

Reiji curled his hand into a fist.

“Yuya, you… Why didn’t you come? Why… Why couldn’t you do it for Reira?” 


	4. Shackles

Yuya smiled as he looked into the mirror, holding his old training suit in front of him.

How long may it have been since he last wore this? It appeared rather silly to him now. Carefully he put it to the other things in the box.

There were so many things he hadn’t thought of for years, old cards that hadn’t fit into his deck anymore, sheets of paper on which he had developed strategies, things that didn’t belong to him anymore.

On the bottom of his locker he found an old photo of him, Yuzu, Ayu, Futoshi and Shuzo. If he remembered correctly, it must’ve been taken right after Ayu signed up.

He stroked over the bright grin that had been on his face back then. This school… It had been a second home to him. It was a place where he had laughed and where he had cried. It was a place where he had felt excited and depressed.

When he looked into the mirror now, only his features and his hair reminded of the blithe boy on the photo. This sad and nostalgic face didn’t belong to such a warm, cheerful place anymore.

With a sigh he placed the photo on top of the training suit and picked up the box. On his way out, he stumbled as his forehead was suddenly hit by something. Yuya stopped and reached up, surprised to hold a dart in his hand.

Before he even wondered who had thrown it, the answer to that question approached him from the sidewalk.

“What are you doing here?” he asked.

“I could ask you the same question.”

Yuya glanced from the young brunette in front of him to the box in his hands.

“I’m getting my stuff out.”

“Huh? Why?”

Yuya flicked down his gaze.

“Do you need to know that?”

Sawatari’s expression flickered for a moment between irritation and seriousness.

Yuya sighed.

“Why did you come here?”

“Do I really need to tell you, Yuya? You still owe me a rematch.”

He made a step towards him, but stopped halfway.

“Actually I had intended to defeat you in front of a large crowd, so everybody could see that I am better than you. But since you didn’t show up at the Championship, I’ll slaughter you here and now.”

Yuya considered him for a moment.

Sawatari’s eyes looked unusually serious. His usual self-boasted expression had vanished completely.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t duel anymore.”

With that he tried to pass Sawatari, but the boy grabbed his arm and yanked him to a stop.

“This wasn’t a request, Yuya”, he said in a low voice. “I’m not letting you get away so easily.”

Yuya closed his eyes. He had figured this moment would come sooner or later.

“Fine. But leave me alone after that, okay?”

Sawatari gave him a grim smile and Yuya put down the box. His hands trembled a little as he put on his duel disk and inserted his deck.

The last time he had done this, he had caused so much havoc and destruction. So much suffering. But he didn’t feel that anger inside him anymore. Nor did he feel the passion that had driven him before.

“Are you prepared to get beaten by the great Neo New Sawatari?”

Yuya looked up at the boy and nodded.

  


DUEL: SAWATARI vs YUYA

FORMAT: ACTION DUEL

ACTION FIELD _CROSS OVER_ IS ACTIVATED

  


“I’ll let you have the first turn, Yuya. Show me what you’ve got.”

Yuya glanced at the cards in his hand. His gaze was immediately drawn to the card on top. He didn’t know why, but somehow it looked faded, as if something in it had disappeared.

_Odd-Eyes… You are feeling alone too, aren’t you?_

Of course, he didn’t get an answer.

“I… set one monster in defence position and end my turn.”

Sawatari looked at him as if he had been slapped.

“That’s all?! Are you trying to mock me? You can do better than that, Yuya.”

He drew a card.

“I Normal Summon _Abyss Actor – Sassy Rookie_ (ATK: 1700). Then I set one card face down and end my turn.”

Yuya blinked surprised.

“You’re not attacking?”

“I’ll be so nice to let you try again”, Sawatari said with a smile.

It wasn’t hard for Yuya to see the threat beneath it.

“Alright. I draw.”

He gazed over to Sawatari’s monster, a freaky-looking fiend with an afro.

“I Normal Summon _Entermate Friendonkey_ (ATK: 1600). Its effect allows me to Special Summon a level four or below _Entermate_ from my hand or graveyard. So from my hand I summon _Entermate Silver Claw_ (ATK: 1800). And last…” He flipped the face-down card on his disk face up. “…I Flipp Summon _Entermate Swincobra_ (ATK: 300).”

Yuya had only one monster strong enough to defeat Sawatari’s _Rookie_. At least he hoped that was what Sawatari was thinking.

“I attack your _Sassy Rookie_ with _Entermate Silver Claw_.”

Sawatari raised an admonitory finger.

“Too bad, Yuya, but _Sassy Rookie_ cannot be destroyed once per turn. That’s not good enough.”

“Then how about this?” Yuya replied. “I activate _Silver Claw’s_ effect, giving all of my _Entermates_ 300 ATK ( _Silver Claw_ : 1800 – 2100, _Friendonkey_ : 1600 – 1900, _Swincobra_ : 300 – 600).”

Sawatari’s monster shielded itself with a blue orb of light, but his life points still dropped to 3600.

“And since my _Friendonkey_ is stronger now, he attacks your _Sassy Rookie_ as well.”

This time the fiend was destroyed, shattering into a shower of sparks (Sawatari 3600 – 3400 LP).

Sawatari merely brushed a hand through his hair and gave Yuya a smirk.

“Since _Sassy Rookie_ has been destroyed, I activate his effect and Special Summon a level four or below _Abyss Actor_ from my deck. The one I choose is _Abyss Actor – Wild Hope_ (ATK: 1600)”

The cowboy-styled figure that appeared before Sawatari casually spun his gun as he glanced at Yuya’s _Swincobra_.

“It appears my _Wild Hope_ has higher ATK than your little snake.”

“It appears so”, Yuya agreed. “Then I have to do something unexpected. _Swincobra’s_ effect allows it to attack you directly.”

The cowboy made an offended face as _Swincobra_ swung past him and attacked Sawatari, knocking his Life Points to 2800.

“At the end of the Battle Phase _Swincobra_ switches to defence position (DEF: 1800). Also the effect of _Silver Claw_ wears off and my monster’s ATK return to normal ( _Silver Claw_ : 2100 – 1800, _Friendonkey_ : 1900 – 1600, _Swincobra_ : 600 – 300).”

He cast down his eyes, glancing at _Odd-Eyes_ in his hand.

“Yuya. That was pathetic. Unless you start fighting for real, you’re wasting my time.”

Yuya didn’t respond. He knew he deserved this.

“Well… Then let me show you what a true duellist can do.”

Sawatari picked a card from his hand, raised it high above his head before placing it on the outmost spot on his disk.

“I set the Pendulum Scale with _Abyss Actor – Mellow Madonna_ (PS: 0).”

A blue pillar of light appeared next to Sawatari and a woman in an elegant black garment ascended inside of it.

“And next I activate her Pendulum Effect. By paying 1000 Life Points (Sawatari 2800 – 1800 LP) I can add _Abyss Actor – Twinkle Littlestar_ from my deck to my hand, and I place her into my Pendulum Zone (PS: 9).”

A second pillar of light appeared on Sawatari’s other side and an insecure-looking girl with a way too large hat glanced back at Yuya.

“Now I can summon monsters from level one to eight from my hand or Extra Deck. Pendulum Summon!”

A portal opened up above him and two beams of light struck the ground, turning into gloomy-looking fiends.

“Welcome back, _Abyss Actor – Sassy Rookie_ (ATK: 1700) and let’s hear it for our newcomer, _Abyss Actor – Devil Heel_ (ATK: 3000).”

Like a storm cloud, _Devil Heel_ loomed above Yuya’s monsters, a thick, misshapen figure of pitch blackness.

“When _Devil Heel_ is summoned, it reduces the ATK of one of your monsters by 1000 for every _Abyss Actor_ I control. The monster I select is _Silver Claw_ (1800 – 0).”

Sawatari flicked his fingers and one of the pillars beside him flashed up.

“I activate _Twinkle Littlestar’s_ effect. It allows my _Devil Heel_ to make three attacks on monsters this turn, but other monsters I control cannot attack.”

Yuya took a deep breath. It was over. Finally…

“ _Devil Heel_ , attack _Entermate Swincobra_.”

Large hands grabbed the yellow serpent and with a twist of its mouth, _Devil Heel_ bit off its head, before the rest vanished.

“Next, for the second attack. Destroy _Silver Claw_!”

_Devil Heel_ jumped forward, tore Yuya’s wolf in half before it could even react (Yuya 4000 – 1000 LP).

Yuya closed his eyes, expecting the final blow. To his confusion, nothing happened. When he opened his eyes again, Sawatari gave him a disdainful look.

“You’re not even trying to get an Action Card to block my attack”, he said coldly.

Then he removed his deck from his duel disk and a beat later the cards on the field vanished.

Yuya didn’t move an inch as Sawatari approached him, merely hanging his head.

“Is that what has become of you, Yuya? Someone who doesn’t have the courage to meet his opponent in an honest fight?”

He snorted.

“And to think I once envied you… You’re not worth to call yourself a duellist.”

Yuya raised his head, meeting Sawatari’s gaze for a moment. Then he stepped past him to pick up the box.

“You can believe what you want”, he said as he walked away. “I don’t have to share your opinion.” 


	5. Broken

Distantly Yoko heard the front door open and close a moment later.

She stroked over the photo in her hands. It depicted a younger Yuya riding on his father’s shoulders after one of his performances. Even from inside the photo she could feel his overflowing joy, his admiration, his excitement to one day stand on the stage in his father’s stead, entertaining the crowd the way he had.

She wondered why. Why had he lost that merry face? What was it that had made her son change so much?

Suddenly she felt someone’s gaze resting on her and turned her head, meeting a pair of crimson eyes staring at her. She knew they had the same shade as back then, but there was something in the gaze that made them appear darker, less vibrant than those in the photo.

“Yuya…”

“Mom.”

The way he said it sent a stab through her heart. It was a plain statement, nothing more. Yuya was so… cold and untouchable nowadays.

As he continued to stare at her, Yoko became aware of the photo in her hands again.

“Oh, this?” she muttered and cracked a little smile. “I was just… thinking about the old times. Never mind that.”

To her surprise Yuya stepped to her, taking the photo from her hands and giving it a long look.

“Do you… wish I was the way I was back then?”

“What… What are you talking about?”

Yuya lowered his head a little, before he put the frame back at its place.

“If you could turn back time… Would you prefer living with the kid I’ve been?”

Something inside Yoko grew cold.

“No, Yuya, I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t want to erase a single day of the life you’ve lived.”

Yuya gave her and expressionless glance.

“I see”, he muttered and started to walk past her.

Feeling a sudden urge to move, Yoko darted around, flung her arms around her son and pulled him to her. She clasped him as tightly as she could, until she was able to feel the pulse of his heart, beating somewhere deep inside of him.

“Listen, Yuya. I am always going to love you, no matter how you may change. And right now, I am just glad that I am able to hug you like this.”

Yuya hadn’t resisted, but he made no attempt to return the embrace either. He just stood there, still, unmoving, until she let go of him.

Yoko was certain the look he gave her after that was something she’d remember for the rest of her life.

“Yes. You really are lucky to be able to do that”, he said.

Without another word he left for his room.

Yoko remained in the hallway, unable to move. She felt as if she had just been stripped of all the warmth she had felt before, frozen by the abyssal grief in those familiar crimson eyes. 

  


* * *

  


“Why this place?” a voice asked and Yuya looked up from the little hollow he was lying in.

Reiji’s violet eyes met his gaze from above.

“Because it helps me to forget”, Yuya answered without paying attention to what a strange way to start a conversation this was.

He hadn’t expected Reiji would come here again, but now that he thought about it, he didn’t mind. He raised one hand into the air, watching how the sunlight fell through his straddled fingers.

“This place doesn’t care about me. Here, I can pretend that I don’t exist.”

“And does it help?”

Yuya gave the young man a surprised glance. He looked… different than last time. Somehow… sadder and introverted.

“A little, maybe.”

Reiji nodded slowly and sat down beside him.

They both remained quiet for a while, just listening to the birds’ song in the air and feeling the warm sunshine on their skin.

“Did you come here just to sit in a meadow with me?” Yuya asked finally. A little smile played around his lips.

“I didn’t.”

Reiji gazed into the distance. For the first time Yuya didn’t feel as if he was looking at a mask that Reiji had put up. For the first time, he felt like he was looking at the true Reiji.

His smile grew a little wider.

For some reason he wished he could’ve seen this face sooner.

“Reira is dying.”

The words came so abruptly that Yuya needed a moment to realise what Reiji had said.

The smile died on his lips. In just one heartbeat, the meadow that had been so warm and friendly, turned cold and distant, as if he was actually at a whole different place.

“Reira’s dying and I believe you are the only one who can help her.”

Reiji shook his head.

“No. She has sacrificed herself to save you, so you have a responsibility to help her. I… I am begging you.”

Yuya’s chest grew tight as he saw the sadness in Reiji’s eyes. Suddenly he felt even more horrible than before.

“I… can’t, Reiji”, he muttered over the lump in his throat. “I can’t.”

Yuya noticed a cloud scudding in front of the sun and the world around him grew dark. The shadow among the trees looked deep and black, the sky appeared in a dull grey and the grass had turned pale and strengthless.

“Why, Yuya?” Reiji muttered.

The way he looked at him, hopeless and disappointed, made something inside him ache.

“Even for her, you are not willing to come out of your shell?”

He sighed. “What has happened to you, Yuya?”

For a moment Yuya felt an urge to smile, but found that he lacked the strength.

“Do you… want to know?” he asked wanly.

Reiji gave him an inquiring look.

Yuya sat up and got to his feet, tottering forward down the meadow. After a moment Reiji followed him.

They went down the hill, rounding a low boulder and finally stopped in front of a small stone that was leaning against a tree. There were markings carved into its surface, although they were too inconspicuous to be noticed when passing by.

Reiji knelt down in front of the stone and looked at them.

“Is this… a grave?”

Yuya nodded.

“I felt like they should have one. Their bodies may not exist anymore, but there needs to be a place for them to be remembered.”

Reiji glanced at him and for once Yuya could see understanding in his eyes, along with an echo of the pain that Yuya was feeling.

Yuya lowered his head, letting his gaze wander across the names.

“Yuzu… Yuto… Ruri… Yugo… Serena… Yuri… Rin… All of them are gone.”

He looked down at his hand, curled it into a fist and uncurled it again.

“I am the same as they were. They had the same right to live as I have. So why couldn’t it be them?”

He tried to hold back the tears that welled up in his eyes, but it was useless. The first tear ran over his cheek, leaving a wet streak on his face.

“I have changed, Reiji. The Yuya you knew, the Yuya who may have been able to help you, has died along with them. I don’t know who I am now, but there is no place in this world for me. I am just a mistake that shouldn’t exist anymore. I’m sorry.”

“Is that the reason why you want to be hated”, Reiji asked.

Yuya cracked a sad smile.

“So you noticed?”

After a moment it faded and his face grew cold again.

“I have tried to die already, but I found that I am unable to. When everybody has stopped caring about me, when they all have forgotten about me… maybe then I’ll be able to follow them.”

He looked at Reiji who was gazing back at him, his purple eyes filled with sympathy. The he took a deep breath before raising his gaze to the branches of the tree overhead. They rustled in the light breeze that wafted across the meadow.

This was a nice place to sleep. He had thought that the moment he saw it.

“May I ask you a favour?” he asked faintly. “When I have died as well… will you come here and add my name to the stone as well?”

After a long moment of silence in which he only heard the wind stroking around them, he felt Reiji’s hand on his shoulder.

“I will, Yuya. I promise.” 


End file.
